If you’re lost, stuck, and confused in your life, you aren’t alone.
I remember feeling the same exact way. At that stage of my life, I was:
- Working an unfulfilling job
- Doubting my abilities
- Not where I wanted to be in life
- Didn’t know what to do at all
It was safe to say I was utterly lost and confused.
But luckily, if you have the right mindset and take action, then this phase doesn’t last forever.
Although you may feel hopeless now, it is possible to find clarity. I’ll be sharing with you my story on feeling lost, my top tips on what to do, and why being lost isn’t actually a bad thing. In fact, it might be the best thing that ever happened to you.
It is possible to find clarity and I’ll be guiding you how in this blog post.
If you’re a visual learner, I made a video covering everything in this blog post:
My Story on Feeling Lost in my 20s
In my early 20s, I found myself feeling completely lost and confused.
I was working a job that wasn’t a fit for me, I didn’t have any greater plans, and I felt like that was “it” in life.
Every day, I was commuting 2-hour and felt pressured to stay in a job that I hated.
Rewinding back, I was told by society, parents, and teachers that if I studied hard, applied to college, study hard again, get a lot of experience, and get a stable job, then I’ll finally be happy.
So for almost a decade, I chipped away at that plan. It was all I ever knew. I truly thought I’d be happy after all that work.
But when I got the corporate job, I wasn’t as happy as I thought I’d be. In fact, I wasn’t happy at all*.*
It felt like I was living a lie.
There were many nights where I had existential crisises, Netflix binges to escape reality, and was unmotivated to do pretty much anything.
I felt like I wasn’t contributing any value. It was like I was living a meaningless existence.
I had no purpose and no idea what to do with life.
What will make me happy? Is there a career that can provide for me financially without trading my soul? Gosh, why don’t I have my life together like Sandy?
I wasted a lot of time doing the wrong things, resulting in me feeling even more lost and confused for a period of time. To help you avoid the struggles I went through, here is what I wish I would’ve done a lot sooner.
1. Stop caring about what others think, and instead, value your own thoughts
If you are like how I was, it’s likely that you’re putting the opinions of others over your own interest and wellbeing.
That might be how you got into your current situation after all.
For me, I let the opinions of others influence my path in life. I wanted to assure my family that I was doing well and make them happy.
That led me to doing things I honestly didn’t want to.
If you’re feeling lost, you need to put yourself first. This is your life and you deal with the consequences. Not your friends, not your family, not your teachers.
If not, you’re at risk of falling into this predicament again.
Resource: How to Stop Caring What Others Think
2. Stop comparing yourself to other people
It’s a lot harder than it sounds, but it’s a necessary step in order to find YOUR direction in life.
When you’re constantly comparing yourself to others, you’re much more likely to copy someone else’s life path instead than finding one that best suits your needs.
We see it all the time. It’s like keeping up with the Joneses.
You see someone who we think is doing better than you, so you might take up a job you don’t like just so you can buy things you don’t need or actually want.
This is a zero-sum game. No one wins and you continue to feel worse and worse about yourself.
It’s much more satisfying when you find a life path that is unique to you. Ever since I found my life purpose and mission, I rarely compare myself with others.
3. Find some quiet and stillness through a daily ritual
In order to reflect on our lives and ask important questions, it’s important that we find some quiet and stillness.
For me, in order to think about deep topics, such as my values, my purpose, and what I ultimately want from this life, I need to be in the right headspace.
I was able to find some of my most life-changing answers and realizations during my morning or night routine.
Because during my daily ritual, my mind isn’t operating at a 100 miles per hour. I’m in a calm and relaxed state, one where I can make rational and clear deductions.
I strongly encourage you to design a morning, night, or any ritual that allows you to find peace and quiet. Designate some time during your day to let your thinking brain rest. It is during stillness and boredom is when we have our most life-changing thoughts.
How to Design a Slow Daily Routine (Blog Post)
Rituals and Routine Planner Pages (What I Use to Design my Routines)
4. Ask yourself, what are the few things I need to be completely content?
When we set big, ambitious goals, we sometimes push aside or completely forget about our basic needs.
When I was in school, I told myself I just needed a job that paid a six figure salary. That a six-figure income would solve my biggest life’s problems.
However, I didn’t think about the day-to-day details. What kind of relationships did I want to have, what did I want to do everyday, how I want to eat, and so forth.
As a result, I was just chasing around mirages of success that the media has shown us.
Because I was chasing things I thought I wanted, I strayed farther away from my true desires, resulting in me feeling even more lost, confused, and frustrated.
I discovered that ultimately, I just wanted to be healthy, have good relationships, find meaning in my work, have freedom.
I realized that I would be fine without living in a glamorous city, fancy clothes, expensive dinner dates, lavish vacations, a fancy house, etc. you get the idea.
Understanding that allowed me to shift my priorities so I wasn’t wasting time chasing after things that I didn’t want.
How to Design an Intentional Life you Love (Blog Post)
5. Take an Inventory of your Life
If you’re lost but aren’t sure why, it’s worth doing a life audit.
A life audit is when you reassess the entirety of your life. Your health, your relationships, career, goals, and more.
Doing this gives you a reality check on what your life is like now and gets you thinking about the life you want to live.
When I performed a life audit myself, I received a major reality check.
I realized that I didn’t want to sacrifice my mental and physical health for a high salary. I wanted to inner peace and have time for my relationships.
If you’re not sure where to start with your life audit, here are some areas of life you can start with for now.
What is your mental health like? How do you feel on a daily basis? Is it how’d you like to feel everyday? Are you truly happy? If not, what are steps you can do to change that?
Health and Wellness
How do you feel physically? Are the foods you are eating making you feel good? Do you get healthy movement? Does your body feel good?
I remember feeling ache-y and all-around stagnant from a lack of movement and also from sitting down all day, whether it be in front of a desk or in my car.
I resolved to change that, but I also wanted to design a lifestyle where I had time to exercise whenever I wanted. A lifestyle with more movement and time to cook delicious and nutritious meals.
To keep my health and wellness in check, I used wellness planning pages that you can find in my shop. These planner pages help me plan out meals to make me feel my best, create an optimal fitness routine, prioritize self-care, and more.
How is the health of your relationships? Your relationship with your partner, family, and/or friends?
Are you satisfied with how they’re going? Do you have any toxic friends or family that are making you feel bad about yourself?
How is your career trajectory? Is it something that makes you happy? Are you overworked? Are you contributing value and applying yourself?
We spend a lot of time working, so it’s important to be intentional with your career. If you hate your job, it’s time to assess your situation to see what you can change.
These are a few starting points. There are other aspects you can explore, but it’s important to get a holistic overview of how you want your life to be. Not just your career, relationships, etc., but the whole entire picture. Everything is interrelated.
This is a prominent concept I talk extensively about in the Life Clarity Guide.
6. Declutter and simplify
Something that can help you get a fresh reset and a lot of clarity is by decluttering.
A messy environment, whether it is physical or mental clutter, affects our ability to find clarity and direction. Our environment affects our mood and thoughts. If your environment makes you unhappy or upset, consider cleaning and reorganizing it.
When I was lost, I did a deep clean. I realized that I had a lot of negative associations to the physical objects I kept around. I had clothes I bought on impulse after an argument, and had other objects that held negative associations.
After donating and selling off those items, I was able to think more clearly and have a more optimistic mindset. Which by the way, is crucial in building a life you love.
Once you get rid of all the unnecessary things in your life, it’ll be easier to discover what you truly value and want out of in life.
7. Practice Self-Reflection
Something that was pivotal in my journey towards clarity was practicing self-reflection and starting a journaling practice.
Through reflecting and journaling I:
- Discovered that I always knew what I wanted to do, but it was blocked out by my limiting beliefs
- Uncovered the reasons behind my limiting beliefs
- Learned more about myself and the lifestyle I wanted to live
- Found solutions where I least expected it
Journaling is something everyone can do and see amazing results.
To help you, I created a free guide that’ll help you Find your Life Path.
In the guide, I cover reflection and provide journaling prompts and exercises that’ll help you gain immense clarity.
Out of the many exercises and prompts I tried, these exercises and concepts were the ones that worked for me.
Being Lost Isn’t a Bad Thing
At the time, it felt like the worst thing in the world.
But in hindsight, it was actually the best thing that could’ve ever happened to me. If it wasn’t for me being lost, I wouldn’t have ever found my true purpose and passion, and I would’ve remained stuck in the rat race.
The fact that you’re feeling lost right now means you have enough self-awareness to realize that you aren’t happy with your life.
Finding and designing a life that you love is a marathon, not a race.
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