Caring about what others think is a major obstacle for many, especially for those who are trying to pursue their purpose and dream life.
This is something you need to overcome in order to live the life you truly want.
Unfortunately, the need to please and conform keeps many people in situations they hate.
They don’t want to disappoint anyone, whether it’s their family, mentors, or friends, so they stay in situations that makes them miserable.
Being a puppet to other people’s opinions is what prevents you from taking key action. The more you engage in this, the farther you get away from your true ideal self and ideal life.
So, what’s the solution?
In this blog post, I’ll be sharing my top tips on how not to care what people think of you.
As always, I’ll share with you my story and then get into the tips.
I used to care about what other people think of me
I have always been a people pleaser.
Whether its friends, family, professors, or my bosses/coworkers, I didn’t want to let anyone down.
In addition, I was afraid of making a fool out of myself. I didn’t want to embarrass myself, so as a result, I stayed within my comfort zone.
I was hyperaware of others. What were they saying about me? Do they hate m or do they like me? What does she truly think about me? Do they think I’m weird?
There were many nights where I couldn’t sleep because I was so afraid of someone’s reactions.
Ultimately, this mindset led me to doing many things others wanted, but none of the things I wanted to do.
I missed out on many exciting opportunities and lived as a puppet to other people’s wishes for so long.
Furthermore, because I was a major people pleaser, I allowed people to step over me.
In short, I was a pushover.
I was angry, but I was also too afraid to say no.
I would say yes in the moment, but later complain to my friends and family.
Can you relate?
Luckily, after going through those experiences, I have learned a lot. Here are my tips on how to not care what people think.
1. You’re the most important person in your universe
But fortunately, you’re only a side character in other people’s worlds.
Everyone is too busy focusing on themselves to care about your actions.
This is more for the people who are afraid of being judged or those who are afraid of embarrassing themselves.
Think about it, do you actively look for people’s flaws or mishaps? Do you stare at people who eat at a restaurant alone, laugh at other people for starting chasing their dreams, and so forth?
To be honest, this was a big reason why I was afraid to start my YouTube channel.
I was afraid people were going to think I was weird and dumb. I was afraid they were going to laugh at me.
And maybe some people will laugh, but do I really want to engage with those type of people? Will it enhance the quality of my life? Is it a productive use of my time?
Most definitely not.
It’s also why I cut out people who continuously make me feel bad about myself.
I get to create my own experiences in life: I have the freedom to choose the thoughts I fixate on, how I react to situations, who I spend my time with, the advice I choose to follow, and more.
You also have this freedom. Once you acknowledge it, you’ll feel empowered and unstoppable.
2. Other people’s judgments are a reflection of them, not you
If someone insults you, understand that it’s just a reflection of that person. It’s rarely a reflection of you.
An example is someone telling you, “you aren’t capable of doing this.”
For the longest time, my parents thought my entrepreneurial endeavors were a waste of time. They believed that it wouldn’t yield to anything fruitful.
Even some my friends thought the same.
At the time, it hurt, but I am grateful I pushed through.
Now, I know that people’s judgments are a reflection on their own negative beliefs.
My parents told me I couldn’t do it because they couldn’t see themselves doing it. They didn’t know it was possible, and in order to protect me, they tried to shut down my efforts.
No one knows what they don’t know, and I proved to my parents that it’s possible to build an audience online.
3. You are not responsible for anyone’s happiness
You can’t make anyone happy. Only they can do that for themselves.
Happiness is something you find within yourself. It’s not something that is found in others.
This goes both ways: people shouldn’t rely on you for their happiness and you shouldn’t rely on their approval for yours.
I used to fear doing many things because I thought it would disappoint my mentors and my parents.
I have nothing but respect for them, but at the end of the day, this was my life I was living, not theirs.
You should do what you truly want to do. The only catch is that you’re responsible for the consequences of your actions. For me, that is worth it, because I get to authentically be me and do the things I truly love to do.
When you look back, you don’t want to regret not doing something because you think someone else will judge you or be disappointed in you for it.
You are responsible for your own happiness and your own success. And that responsibility includes not caring what other people think.
4. Be wary of the advice or criticism you take
I used to ask everyone for advice, even for the smallest things.
I’d ask my parents, my friends, my family, and even random strangers online.
In the past, my self-worth was largely tied to how others saw me.
Now, I still ask people for advice, but I’m careful on who I ask and what advice I truly follow.
As many of you may know, some family members enjoy giving you unsolicited advice.
My family loved to criticize me.
They told me what to do with my life, my money, my body, and more.
And when I was younger, I would take their words to heart.
As a result, I felt wrecked when told me anything bad.
My family told me to go school, get an engineering degree, get married, have kids, and work until you’re 60.
And it’s not bad advice. It’s just not the life I wanted.
That’s why now, I only take life advice from people who inspire me and have the results I want. I take advice from those living the life I want to live.
As an business owner, I’m not going to let an internet troll dictate what my life should be like. They’re not living the life I want to live, as they have enough time to spread toxicity and negativity.
Also, I no longer depend on anyone’s feedback nor feel destroyed when I get criticism.
I don’t need anyone’s approval to live the life I want and do the things I want to do.
If you keep waiting for the approvals of others, you’ll continue to live like a puppet, always bending at the will of others.
Only focus on what you can control
The problem with caring about what other people think is assuming that you have the power to control their thoughts about you.
You place our happiness and well-being into the hands of someone else. And that’s not how you find true fulfillment and true happiness.
You can’t control what other people think of you, but you can control how you react to their comments.
If you found this blog post valuable, feel free to share it with someone who needs it!
Also, if you’re ready to find mental clarity and design a life you truly love on your OWN terms, download my free journaling workbook. There are prompts and exercises that’ll help you discover you true needs and desires. Not the desires of other people.