Have you ever just wanted to cry because you had no idea what you wanted to do with your life.
I’ve been there. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forget those raw feelings — the frustration, shame, and uncertainty that landed me in a major slump.
My lack of clarity over my life affected all facets of my life. It lowered the quality of my relationships, motivation, happiness, health, and more.
I even remember gaining almost 15 pounds! I’m a fairly small person, so this is quite a lot for my frame.
I resorted to binge eating to cope with my lack of clarity. Coupled with the stress, I also had no motivation to work out, socialize, or do anything that was remotely good for me.
That’s what a lack of clarity and uncertainty does to you.
And if you’re in the same boat, don’t feel ashamed. I know from experience how hard it can be to navigate life without a compass.
Eventually in my rocky journey, I figured out what I wanted to do with my life.
My life before and after finding clarity is complete day and night. If I never found clarity, I would still dread my days, live in fear, and live a half-baked life.
Today, I’ll be sharing how I figured out what I wanted to do with my life and how you can get clarity in your life too.
Ever since I was young, I was told that I would be successful if I got a stable job at a prestigious company.
As a result, I made that my goal and shaped my identity around it.
I made sacrifices, worked my butt off, and was always hustling. However, I was ok with everything because the outcome would be amazing. Or so I thought.
Fast forward, I finally accomplished my goal…but I wasn’t happy like I thought I’d be.
Instead of being happy and excited, I was miserable and confused. I never felt more lost, anxious, and uncertain.
I realized that the goal I was working so hard for was not what I wanted. This was the goal I revolved my identity around.
Everyone was happy and congratulating me, but I was just miserable.
I found my career to be unfulfilling and struggled to find anything positive about my life.
So, I was back at ground zero.
At this point, I had NO idea what I wanted to do with my life. I was truly lost and I had no idea what to do to move forward. I had no plan.
My lack of clarity manifested into something unpleasant: I dreaded waking up every morning, I constantly wanted to escape through Netflix, and I felt like a zombie on autopilot.
Was this really it?
I remember incessantly googling, “what to do with my life” and “lost in life”. I was desperate.
In attempts to get unstuck, I tried everything: I paid for coaching, courses, read many books, and more. 99% of the things I did were ineffective and only wasted my time.
But along the way, I did find my path, and looking back, I can now identify the things that worked and the mistakes I made.
I’ll be sharing these with you so you don’t have to spend as much time, energy, and money as I did.
To start, I’ll go over the mistakes I made and the fears I had to overcome to achieve clarity. If I knew all of this earlier, then I 100% would’ve found my path a lot earlier.
What got in the way of me discovering my life path
Mistake #1: Caring too much about what others think
When I look back on my journey, I realized that I remained stuck and inactive for SO long because I cared too much about what others thought of me.
At the end of your life, only YOU will care how you lived your life. No one cares as much about you as you think, so why would you waste your life trying to please others?
This is a bit morbid, but how do you want to feel when you’re reflecting on your memories on your death bed? Will you be happy with your life or will you be full of regret, thinking about the what-ifs and what could be?
At the end of the day, the only things you’ll regret are the things you DON’T do.
People will always judge you, no matter what the circumstances are. But these judgments are fleeting, and sooner or later, they’ll shift their focus on the next thing.
You deserve to live the life YOU want. Don’t let their quick judgments prevent you from living a life you love.
Mistake #2: Believing it was too late to discover my life path
Whether you’re 20, 30, 40, 50, 60, 70, etc., it’s never too late to find your life path.
You might not be able to become a doctor or an astronaut, but you can still discover and build a life that is aligned with who YOU are and what you want out of life.
The fact that you think you’re too old to discover your life path is a limiting belief. I know this because it was also a limiting belief I had.
For the longest time, I thought I was too old to start a YouTube channel. But in reality, this was far from the truth. There are many successful YouTubers of all ages. The most important thing on YouTube is providing value, not your age.
This limiting belief held me back from starting my own channel for years.
There are people who go to school in their 30s, find their dream jobs in their 50s, discover their passions in their 60s, and so forth. You’re never too old to start looking for your purpose.
At the same time, the best time to start pursuing a life you love is right now. While you’re never too old to figure out your life path, I would be lying to you if I said time is limitless.
You never know what could happen today, tomorrow, next week, and so forth. The longer you wait to take action, the longer it’ll take to find that clarity and certainty, so start today.
Mistake #3: Having limiting beliefs about myself
In the past, I was a really negative person. I never believed in my dreams nor in myself. I always thought others did well because they were lucky in life.
Because of my negative and limiting beliefs, I didn’t believe a lot of the things I dreamed of were possible. These limiting beliefs held me back from reaching my potential.
Sure, some things may not be possible in certain circumstances, but a lot of things are possible.
For example, for the longest time, I never believed I could make money online.
Until I made my first few cents online, I thought that only the lucky and the chosen people were the ones who could do it. Not someone as ordinary as me.
But looking back, I made this assumption BEFORE taking action and putting in significant effort.
I uploaded 2 videos and expected to become YouTube famous, while many creators pump out hundreds and hundreds of videos before they get a small break.
A lot of things are possible, but they all require work and effort.
Once I challenged my limiting beliefs and started to believe in myself, I was able to move forward, stop procrastinating, and put in my best effort.
I go in-depth about how to get rid of your limiting beliefs in my workbook, the Life Clarity Guide.
How I figured out what I wanted to do with my life
1. I came to understand myself and my life
To get clarity, you have to understand where you are in your life now.
Maybe this means you have to acknowledge that your life isn’t as perfect as you make it appear on social media, or that you don’t love the job you’re supposed to love.
For the first few months of working at my unfulfilling job, I tried to convince myself that I loved my job and that nothing was wrong with my life. I convinced myself that the dissatisfaction and confusion would go away.
However, doing this only made me more lost and confused.
Before you try to change your life, you have to be completely honest with who you are. Once you understand your personality, your values, past, and present, only then can you formulate what you want out of your future.
When I acknowledged that I didn’t like my job and only pursued it because others said I should, I came out with a lot more clarity.
Now that I was clear on my past and my present, I was able to:
- Decide what I wanted to do moving forward
- Differentiate between my desires and other people’s desires for me
- Have crystal clarity on the road ahead of me
This clarity gave me more power, control, and leverage over my future.
2. I got clear on my vision
If you don’t know where you’re going, you’ll never get there.
Your vision is and will be the meaning behind the things you decide to do. Without a vision, you’ll just be aimlessly doing things with no purpose.
To reiterate, I DID have a vision. I knew I wanted to work a fancy corporate job that paid me a lot of money. Knowing that provided me clarity on what I needed to do to get there.
However, my mistake was that I wasn’t CLEAR enough in my vision.
In my vision, I only knew that I wanted a prestigious job that paid me a lot of money. But when that became a reality, I realized a lot was lacking.
What I failed to do was understand myself and my values.
Once I got that sorted out, the haze started to clear up.
The feeling of knowing what you want, why, and what to do to get it is amazing. And by developing a clear vision, it’s completely possible.
Find Clarity in 31 Days or Less
I dive a lot deeper into these concepts in my workbook, the Life Clarity Guide.
The Life Clarity Guide will help you understand yourself and your life, your values, and it’ll show you how to develop an effective vision for your life and ideal self.
Instead of spending years living in uncertainty and fear, you can figure out what you want to do with your life in just 31 days or less.
If you’re interested, you can click here to learn more about the guide.
Feel free to leave a comment if you found this article helpful or have any questions!